The Empty Chair

Jehovah's Witnesses (JWs) are generally discouraged from getting any type of therapy or counseling from anyone who is not a JW. When I was a JW [born and raised in the organization] seeking help from anyone not a JW was against the rules and you will quickly find yourself on the opposite side of Elders in your congregation in a shepherding call [the first step in their court system, which is just a fact finding mission]. If the Elders don't like your answers it could proceed to a formal Judicial committee meeting where you will be judged as to your standing in the congregation. It might lead to a probationary period, or full out disfellowshipping depending on your crimes, meaning, how much you have gone off course from the JW teachings, rules, rhetoric, and ever changing policies.

Therefore, the programming is in place to be fearful of seeking any type of formal therapy out in the "world" which of course means anything not sanctioned by the JW leadership who set the rules for the entire global organization. However, many JWs exiting the mind-controlling organization often miss this step in their recovery process and acclimating themselves to the outside world of reality. If you miss this step, you find that you might not deal with the rest of the population in a rational way. You might take things too seriously, or not be able to read someone's intentions. 

A few years ago I did some research and came across the fundamental principles of a gestalt. It's a German word meaning shape or form and was developed by German psychologists in the 1920s. People tend to organize visual elements into groups or unified wholes. A football team can be considered a gestalt because it works as one unit, not as individual players.

This principle can be applied to persons who are Jehovah's Witnesses (JW). Their whole social structure is one unit. The membership all think alike, act the same way, and have a unified belief system. To break free from this JW gestalt, you need to replace it with a new one. I know, it's not as easy as it sounds. But when a person decides to leave the Watch Tower corporation, they can't simple exist as a healthy, whole person and move on with life as if nothing happened to them. 

A common mistake many persons make when leaving the corporation, is they continue with life as a JW, yet are not going to the meetings anymore, they no longer believe in the tenets of the Watch Tower Society, and they may be disfellowshipped or just simply fade away from their congregation and never return.

Why is this important? Well, you are still a JW if you don't realize you have changed. If you made that decision to never return to the JWs, then you probably came to a conclusion that the JWs are not the one and only true religion, that the leadership are not emissaries from God or Christ. You should take that next step and realize that no religious or non-religious group knows for a fact how us humans ended up on this planet; it's all conjecture and what you choose to believe. Yet if you don't establish a new social gestalt, it is impossible to heal and recover from JW indoctrination. This will prove true with being associated with any high control group.

For myself, I had no idea I needed therapy at first, until I found myself going around like a zombie, going to work everyday, handling my personal affairs, but not acting much different than when I was a JW. I had a few non-JW friends, yet was still living a life as a JW just sans the meetings and field service. This was leading to an empty life with no direction. 

So what do you do? You need to seek therapy. Now I know that sounds scary and aside from that, maybe you just don't have the funds. Then go online and start your research. I have links at the footer of this blog that will get you started on your deprogramming journey from the Watch Tower Society. As you take a look at the video suggestions, then start looking at various books to read on the subject of psychology and how the human mind works. If you are having problems dealing with social and work situations, then seek out books on the subject from a non-JW perspective. Broaden your scope and you will discover a whole host of people ready and willing to offer help, and will push you onto your next level of success in your work and personal life.

The therapy that helped me along my journey to personal peace, is called the "empty chair". It's one form of therapy where you sit or stand facing a chair and imagine anyone in your life is sitting there and you vent your feelings and pent-up frustrations to that person. You can do this with anyone in your life and then switch places and imagine you are that person and defend yourself which can be quite revealing since it forces you to consider why that other person acted the way they did.

For example, I could place my mom in that chair and tell her off, then when I switch places with her I can say, "I thought I was doing the right thing," or "I was raised very strict and raised you the same way," whatever the case may be. It can be a very cleansing type of therapy and is often used along with hypnotherapy, where you are sitting with your eyes closed imagining anyone you want is in that chair, even God.

Therapy and self-help videos will be that link to a new social gestalt. If you have unresolved conflicts, trauma, or suffering severe emotional or physical abuse, then please seek help from a licensed psychiatrist. I suggest you don't speak to anyone you know since some past trauma and abuse might be embarrassing and some friends or family should not be privy to all of your personal feelings. If you do have a trusted non-JW friend to speak with, then start there. Ask them to help you select a psychiatrist in your area and many licensing boards have online verification of the license to see if any formal disciplinary actions have been taken against that doctor.

When I finally found the courage to walk away from the JW organization as an adult, I was truly lost and simply having people tell me to now go out and celebrate Christmas and birthdays, was not the solution. It was like telling someone whose house had just burned down to go the movies and forget it. Don't over-simplify what happened to you as an indoctrinated JW. So I sought out self-help videos online and in books, mostly unrelated to the JWs. As you progress through your own personal therapy, you will find you are less invested in tracking everything going on with the Watchtower corporation. You can have a healthy detachment from them, even if you have family still in the organization. So when you hear something is going on, you will not react emotionally, but can listen and take it with a grain of salt. You are out of that organization, you come first, then if you can, help others to leave by helping them find a new social gestalt to replace the old one when they were a JW.

As you progress through your personal development, you may find that there was a hobby you used to do before you became an indoctrinated JW or maybe engaged in recreational activities while you were a JW that you can explore further. Maybe you had a love of animals, painting, drawing, or you enjoy helping people, maybe teaching or volunteering at a local charity. You need to develop a new social gestalt after leaving the JWs to restore your mental and emotional health, and it will lead to promoting good physical health too.

Self-discovery and cleaning out the cobwebs of useless information implanted there by years of Watchtower indoctrination, can only benefit you and you might uncover the reasons why you may be reacting to everyday life in an unreasonable and negative manner. You might find where you are struggling and why you can't come to a resolution and feel lost in life. 

But, don't put undue pressure on yourself. The first step is just realizing you were indoctrinated and conditioned as a JW. You were their recruiting robot that went door-to-door coercing people to join, to skew the beliefs of the JWs to attract people into the organization. Think about it as a journey to a new you and becoming a better person and to not think solely in black and white, but in shades of grey. 

This universe is a vast storehouse of knowledge, information, wisdom and beauty. Start exploring the world you are in and don't be afraid to dig into your personality and find that awesome person hidden inside of you that is just waiting to get out and explore the planet. Start sharing what you have learned with other people that are just like you, on a spiritual and personal journey to freedom.

#jehovahswitnesses  #watchtowersociety  #jworg
#freedomfromwatchtower #selfhelp   #thrive  #therapy #gestalt

Star Treatment

Leah Remini has been acting most of her life.
She played Carla Tortelli's daughter
on the TV series Cheers, featuring many cast
members who were also Scientologists like Leah.

As recently reported on various media outlets, the actress Leah Remini may continue her series on the A&E cable TV channel exposing the Scientology belief system, and turn her attention to the Jehovah's Witnesses (JW) and their teachings and beliefs.

Leah just won an Emmy Award for her A&E documentary series examining the Scientology religion and the aftermath, and living as an anti-Scientology activist and the struggles she has had since leaving the religious movement. She also profiled other persons who struggled with the Scientology movement and their life after leaving the organization.

So, will focusing on the JWs be a good thing? What will it accomplish? Well, I have to ask why the many celebrities who were raised as JWs and had since left, do not speak out about how they were raised, why they left, and how their lives might have turned out differently had they stayed a JW. Obviously, the first family that comes to mind are the Jacksons, with the [now deceased] superstar entertainer Michael being the most famous JW I suppose and one of his sisters and her family and Katherine Jackson [matriarch of the Jackson family] are believed to be the only ones still practicing and remain as JWs to this day.

Michael and his equally famous sister Janet Jackson have been vocal about what is was like being raised without having birthday parties or celebrating Christmas. Even their sister LaToya Jackson has spoken publicly about being raised within the strict edicts of the Watch Tower corporation.

LaToya Jackson
had no problem working for
the Playboy corporation after
leaving the JWs.

You might remember LaToya, she left the JWs when she married an unbeliever and led a pretty wild life, appearing in several issues of Playboy Magazine. After her husband's death, she basically came back to the fold, meaning of her family, not of the JWs. Her mother Katherine was quoted as saying that LaToya fell in with "bad association" which is a Bible term when a Christian falls in with the wrong crowd and does evil things. Of course, the JWs believe the entire Bible is about them, meaning not coming back to Christianity but not coming back to the JW organization. LaToya to my knowledge never returned to the JWs, but she came back and connected with her family and they forgave her wild years and speaking out against the JWs and about how she was raised having allegedly suffered physical and emotional abuse by her JW father when she was growing up. She also claimed her brother Michael suffered similar abuses by their father when growing up.

Geri "Ginger" Spice is the redhead, second from
the left, who was raised a JW.

Obviously, there are other stars who were raised as JWs, such as, the former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell and the famous supermodel Naomi Campbell. 

Also, former Metallica band member who formed Megadeth, Dave Mustaine, was raised as a JW. He once related a story that also happened to me. In elementary school they wanted to teach sex education and show an educational film but each child had to get written permission from their parent or guardian to view the film. Like Dave, I was NOT permitted to view the film since it was considered "worldly" and in my case, my parents thought it would teach me too much about sex, and I would immediately run out and get pregnant. 

Yep, my parents really thought that of me. Gee, thanks mom and dad. A girl that was raised in a cage [bedroom] and every move was tracked with me being timed on how long it took me to leave school and walk back home or later, when I rode the bus, I was always timed and if I was late, dad would come after me in his car. One time I went home with a girlfriend whose dad was a teacher at our school. I got into big trouble for that even though we only lived a block away. I was very lonely, and loved going to a friends house to hang out, watch TV and experience a calm home life instead of always on a strict schedule of JW meetings, study, door-to-door ministry, never having down time or play time except if it included mom and dad which was always tedious. A kid wants to have friends their own age, not always around adults. But that is the life of a JW, around adults too much and that is how abuse happens. Adults paired off with kids is not a healthy environment and fosters blind trust in adults who may exploit the situation.

But JW children are probably the most sexually repressed kids on the planet, so nothing about sex could be seen or heard by any worldly entity. Any education in that area would come from the Watch Tower literature. However, all these famous people who did not stick with the JW organization and became very wealthy and famous, couldn't they lend something to Leah's potential show about the JWs? A&E has not yet committed to another season of Leah's show, so she is just throwing it out there that she may focus on the JWs.

So why did I skip over the super performer Prince? Well, reportedly he became very famous first, focusing completely on his musical career and only later in life when his mother was dying, did he promise to start studying to become a JW. He tried to clean up his music according to JW standards, attended some meetings and conventions and talked about Jehovah on various TV talk shows and even at music award shows. He died a faithful JW according to some sources, so I suppose he chose that life path for himself and what can you say. He was an adult and could choose what he wanted. 

But many like myself, had no choice. We were raised with the strict and warped tenets of the Watch Tower corporation, we are basically damaged for life. Some can crawl out of the abyss and become a whole person and not only survive, but thrive in this life and those people are very strong minded and I admire them. I never could do that. I realize I am not like other people, but have to learn to adapt to this life being around mostly "normal" people and adapting to life here on this planet where I can now choose my own belief system. I do read a lot of different material and am researching the Buddhists teachings and enjoy exploring the spiritual community, not religious community where they worship a man who was most likely invented, that being Jesus Christ, to start an anti-Jewish religious system of the day. Who knows, I am just learning and exploring and enjoying my life now, in search of peace and contentment and I wish the same for you, dear reader.

#leahremini  #jehovahswitness

#naomicampbell   #gerihalliwell

#metallica  #megadeth

#activism   #scientology