ExJW Quiet Activism: Will You Give Thanks?

The Thanksgiving holiday in America is coming up this week and it involves cooking a big dinner that normally features a huge turkey as the main course, and families fight winter weather to travel across country to visit relatives and plan some fun times together.

What do Jehovah's Witnesses (JWs) do during this time period? Well, the answer to that will be as different as the snowflakes falling from the sky but to sum it up they basically lie to outsiders and say they don't celebrate it, oh, but there really is nothing wrong with it, it's just giving thanks to God for their abundance like the JWs do everyday, right? Okay, sure.

My mother grew up in a rural area of Northern California and was raised by her Catholic mother and her father [my maternal grandfather] was a Freemason. My mother often told me about a group of female Freemasons called "Job's Daughters" yet she would never tell me whether she or her sisters were members or not, but it consisted of young women being groomed for life and knowing the graces of how to behave and are encouraged to take part in various charitable causes, be loyal to one's country and have respect for their parents and the elderly, much like the Girl Scouts. They didn't have to believe in any religion but believe in a higher power or a Supreme Being.

Job's Daughters is a masonic society, a sort of female version of the Freemasons. Patsy Ramsey [the mother whose daughter JonBenet Ramsey was murdered in 1996 at Christmas time] was said to have been a member of Job's Daughters along with her sister. The organization was named after the Biblical Job and his three daughters. It's a youth organization for women only, and they have a Bethel Council much like you hear of the JWs having a "Bethel" which is the name of their headquarters where they write their literature and train young men who work there as volunteers to become preachers and teachers in Kingdom Halls and are trained to become the future leaders of the JW global organization. JW women also work at Bethel and take part in the missionary schools for the global preaching work, yet primarily have to be married if they are in a so-called leadership position, meaning, they are married to a high ranking man in the JW organization. The women have to be good examples of a perfect JW robot and bow down to the male leadership in the organization or face being shunned and eventually their devout JW husband will divorce them. But, that's a saga for another time.

My maternal grandfather was also a turkey farmer and customers would come to his farm and select a turkey for Thanksgiving. He would slaughter the turkey(s) on the premises and prepare and package it for you to take home and cook it for your family. He hired farm hands to do chores and my mother and her siblings lived in a large white two-story home and their only job was to go to school and basically stay out of their dad's way. He could be extremely strict and hot tempered and had a large German Shepherd dog with him at all times named "Puppy". My mother would tell me stories that her dad could be very free with a large buggy whip and not hesitate to use it on my mother and her siblings if they got out of line with Puppy snapping at their heels. But yes, my mother was raised with celebrating Thanksgiving until she was converted to the JW religion by her older sister.

[Reference: http://exjwquietactivism.blogspot.com/2016/08/shelter-from-storm.html

Since my mother became a devout, baptized JW, she never forgot those many Thanksgiving celebrations with her parents and siblings and always struggled around the holidays with trying to obey the strict no-holiday celebration edicts of the Watchtower corporation and her strict upbringing of celebrating holidays with her family. So what did she do you ask? Well, she did about what 100 percent of the JWs do to this day. They celebrate Thanksgiving a day after the so-called "worldly" Thanksgiving holiday that falls on a Thursday each year or they call it a generic family day and don't serve turkey. Either/or, take your pick if you are a JW.

Yes, dear reader, the JWs are a fake religion with no JW I ever knew who didn't celebrate their own version of Thanksgiving. The religion has no integrity or substance, just fake piety. Oh, my mother would rationalize that you just can't get a fresh turkey except around Thanksgiving - you know, not like her dad had on the farm! It again caused great confusion in my young and impressionable mind since on one hand I could do nothing with worldly people, no birthdays, no Christmas, no holiday celebrations at their homes and had to stay home and be alone throughout each holiday yet mom would have her big turkey dinner the day after Thanksgiving.

Looking back on all this, I realized by mother missed that holiday with her siblings after having seen year after year of failed prophecies by the JW leadership, after she had shunned her own father and mother when becoming a JW. My mother's siblings save for one had all joined the JWs and were no longer living in one close area. My mother kept to herself and never admitted to wanting to celebrate the holidays with them again. So it was just us around the holidays and she indulged in warped delight in ensuring I had nothing to do but sit home with her and her miserable turkey the day after Thanksgiving. Like her own father, she enjoyed ordering my dad to be strict and use corporal punishment on me when mom deemed that I spoke out much too often since I had never been properly socialized with normal, non-JW people and would lash out at odd times breaking from the pressure of isolation and strict rules of behavior.

To this day I cherish my custom riding
boots and am thankful I had the courage
to pursue a measure of happiness while
trapped inside the JW organization.

As I grew older [as I have spoken about on this blog] I did fight to have non-JW friendships yet it was under strict conditions. I wish I had fought for my own personal freedom and had broken free at a much younger age from the warped JW teachings as much as I fought to have a few worldly friends and being able to pursue my love of horseback riding. I could not see the forest for the trees. I had no idea I was a trapped animal in a cage allowed out only for meals or limited recreation and basic schooling. Even when I graduated from High School I still could not see that open corral gate and stayed stuck inside my prison that was made strong by years of JW indoctrination and mind control rhetoric.

The conclusion to all this? If you are a JW that has just left the organization, you probably do not have a circle of supportive non-JW friends. But that's okay, take your time in exploring the world around you. What about any non-JW relatives? Well, that is a start to acclimating yourself to the great big world out there.

Old picture of me with a friend's beloved
dog named "Rocky". I regret that friend
passed away and never knew that she
had helped me wake up from
the mind control of the JWs.

What did I do? No, I did not send out any printed announcements that I was no longer a JW. I kept that to myself. The JWs and my worldly relatives were not receiving anything in writing from me about that. My embarrassment as to having been fully indoctrinated since birth in the JW culture and preaching all the time to my worldly relatives, resulted in me not saying a word, but my actions spoke loudly. I walked away from the JW organization 10 years ago and have never looked backed. So how did I handle my non-JW relatives? Guess what, I sent them small personal gifts I knew they would like. A small stone totem animal, a delicate gold dragonfly necklace, semi-precious stones with inspirational words written on them, along with pretty cards that wished them the best during the holiday season. Gone were the little JW tracts I would put in my letters to them, gone was the JW rhetoric in my letters about the so-called last days of this so-called wicked system of things. I sent them a peace offering because I was sorry for preaching at them all these years. The result? I filled my fireplace mantel with colorful holiday cards from them and I cherish those cards with their names handwritten on them with messages of love. It makes me feel good.

What can you do? You do not have to rush out and buy a turkey for Thanksgiving. You do not have to rush out and buy expensive gifts for anyone, including your non-JW family members. If this is your first holiday season being a non-JW, then take heart. Sit back and relax and enjoy your time off if you don't have to work. You don't have to explain anything to anyone until you are ready. You can simply say that you are no longer a member of the JW religion and perhaps say you might want to talk about it sometime, but not now. Maybe a co-worker, an old friend, or non-JW relative is nearby that you can spend some time with. Go to the movies, take a road trip, whatever, and it will ease you out of the JW culture and into a brand new world of unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness.